The present World Record for Haggis Hurling has been held by Alan Pettigrew for over 18 years. Hardly surprising if you consider he threw a 1lb 8oz haggis an astonishing 180' 10'' on the island of Inchmurrin on Loch Lomond in August 1984.
I've always thought that the best haggis hurlers would be those who regularly ate the most disgusting haggis... or, if you prefer, insert gratuitous "a favorable wind at his back" joke here...
I am sure you two are finding yourselves incredibly droll right now. Well laugh on.
One of you is in danger of being banned from Claridge's Bar for life and the other of having a gang of Scots Mafia come round and lift up all his carefully laid parquet.
Oh, it's like that, is it? Well, then, I can stoop even lower sir... if your, ahem, "Scotch Mafia" comes to my house, I will simply distract them by flinging a handful of pennies and/or animal organs... also, 's'not parquet, neever...
Meanwhile, although I did intend certain crass aspects of that previous comment, I did not actually intend the "Scotch" versus "Scots" crassness... now that I've noted it, though, feel free to be mildly offended by it...
Boys, boys, boys - play nice or we'll have to have a "time out".
Although I think "Scots Mafia" is a bit of an oxymoron. Instead of Tony Soprano whacking people, you have what? Ewan MacGregor bagpiping people to death? Maybe he just tosses telephone poles at them instead.
I've always thought that the best haggis hurlers would be those who regularly ate the most disgusting haggis... or, if you prefer, insert gratuitous "a favorable wind at his back" joke here...