Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Describing the Undescribable
Some Emergency Medicine Humor, courtesy of an excerpt of an article first published in Emergency Medicine News.

Twenty EMS radio codes to describe the all too frequent, undescribable situations over the radio to the hospital accurately. Code 20-404 is actually very popular:

20-100 Chest pain from stupid argument

20-101 Chest pain from anxiety

20-102 Chest pain from trampoline injury

20-103 Chest pain from being punched by wife

20-104 Chest pain from boring/dead-end job

20-105 Chest pain, non-urgent, not otherwise specified

20-200 Laceration from altercation with small child

20-201 Laceration from argument with dog

20-202 Laceration from reaching through broken window for beer

20-203 Laceration from opening beer with mouth

20-204 Laceration from inappropriate use of household implement while naked

20-205 Laceration from stupid activity, not otherwise specified

20-300 Overdose on normal dose of Xanax

20-301 Overdose on normal dose of Ambien (also known as sleep)

20-302 Overdose on ridiculous amount of alcohol, attributed to ‘some pill in drink’

20-303 Overdose on confidence, resulting in sound beating or ugly bed-mate

20-304 Overdose on nicotine after recent coronary stent (also known as Acute MI)

20-305 Overdose on non-lethal substance, not otherwise specified (like flour)

20-400 Back pain from lifting refrigerator alone

20-401 Back pain from lifting uncooperative farm animal

20-402 Back pain from having bizarre sex with obese spouse

20-403 Back pain from assuming normal, standing posture while morbidly obese

20-404 Back pain from threat of imminent employment or loss of benefits

20-405 Back pain, unverifiable, not otherwise specified

20-500 Intoxication with fall onto face

20-501 Intoxication with fall out of bed

20-502 Intoxication with fall from bar-stool

20-503 Intoxication in the face of angry spouse

20-504 Intoxication on mouthwash (‘so she won’t know I’m drunk’)

20-505 Intoxication with ridiculous injury, not otherwise specified

20-600 Multiple wounds from jello-wrestling with raccoons

20-601 Lacerations from letting Pit-Bull eat off of body (see 20-505)

20-602 Antler wounds from attempting to field dress game animal ‘mostly dead’

20-603 Bites from attempting to dress ferret as ‘Ballerina Barbie’

20-604 Lacerations to eyelids from attempting to bathe cocaine-intoxicated cat

20-605 Animal related wounds, not otherwise specified

20-700 Multiple stings from attempting to add hornet’s nest to collection. In June.

20-701 Burns from attempting to kill yellow-jackets with gasoline, while smoking

20-702 Envenomation from attempting to cuddle with Pit Viper.

20-703 Small red mark, believed to be ‘spider bite’

20-704 Bite or envenomation with offending creature in possession (no, no, no!)

20-705 Bite or envenomation, non-urgent, not otherwise specified

20-800 Patient wearing demeaning, but hilarious attire (e.g. ‘Bootylicious’ on shorts)

20-801 Patient in need of immediate arrest

20-802 Patient with wife in ambulance, girlfriend coming by private auto (surprise!)

20-803 Extraordinarily attractive patient (probably needs decon)

20-804 Patient with non-urgent but completely unintelligible complaint

20-805 Patient, annoying, not otherwise specified

20-900 Shortness of breath from walking to refrigerator

20-901 Shortness of breath from thrilling episode of reality show

20-902 Shortness of breath from argument with prom date

20-903 Shortness of breath from smoking 4 ppd in small room full of cat fur

20-904 Shortness of breath from wrestling with law enforcement

20-905 Shortness of breath, no objective signs, not otherwise specified

posted by Broadsheet @ 2:49 PM  
0 Editorial Opinions:
Post a Comment
<< Home

Name: Broadsheet
About Me: The Editor in Chief
See my complete profile
Mainstream Media

World News: Darfur/Sudan

Left Handed Editors

Right Handed Editors

The Personals

Food and Wine

Literature, Academia, Arts, and Culture

Healthcare and Technology

Book Reviews

The Tabloids

Previous Post
Archived Editions

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)

Blog Baltimore

Subscribe with Bloglines

Blogarama - The Blog Directory


Save the Net

Blogtimore Hon

Powered by