Some Emergency Medicine Humor, courtesy of an excerpt of an article first published in Emergency Medicine News.
Twenty EMS radio codes to describe the all too frequent, undescribable situations over the radio to the hospital accurately. Code 20-404 is actually very popular:
20-100 Chest pain from stupid argument 20-101 Chest pain from anxiety 20-102 Chest pain from trampoline injury 20-103 Chest pain from being punched by wife 20-104 Chest pain from boring/dead-end job 20-105 Chest pain, non-urgent, not otherwise specified 20-200 Laceration from altercation with small child 20-201 Laceration from argument with dog 20-202 Laceration from reaching through broken window for beer 20-203 Laceration from opening beer with mouth 20-204 Laceration from inappropriate use of household implement while naked 20-205 Laceration from stupid activity, not otherwise specified 20-300 Overdose on normal dose of Xanax 20-301 Overdose on normal dose of Ambien (also known as sleep) 20-302 Overdose on ridiculous amount of alcohol, attributed to ‘some pill in drink’ 20-303 Overdose on confidence, resulting in sound beating or ugly bed-mate 20-304 Overdose on nicotine after recent coronary stent (also known as Acute MI) 20-305 Overdose on non-lethal substance, not otherwise specified (like flour) 20-400 Back pain from lifting refrigerator alone 20-401 Back pain from lifting uncooperative farm animal 20-402 Back pain from having bizarre sex with obese spouse 20-403 Back pain from assuming normal, standing posture while morbidly obese 20-404 Back pain from threat of imminent employment or loss of benefits 20-405 Back pain, unverifiable, not otherwise specified 20-500 Intoxication with fall onto face 20-501 Intoxication with fall out of bed 20-502 Intoxication with fall from bar-stool 20-503 Intoxication in the face of angry spouse 20-504 Intoxication on mouthwash (‘so she won’t know I’m drunk’) 20-505 Intoxication with ridiculous injury, not otherwise specified 20-600 Multiple wounds from jello-wrestling with raccoons 20-601 Lacerations from letting Pit-Bull eat off of body (see 20-505) 20-602 Antler wounds from attempting to field dress game animal ‘mostly dead’ 20-603 Bites from attempting to dress ferret as ‘Ballerina Barbie’ 20-604 Lacerations to eyelids from attempting to bathe cocaine-intoxicated cat 20-605 Animal related wounds, not otherwise specified 20-700 Multiple stings from attempting to add hornet’s nest to collection. In June. 20-701 Burns from attempting to kill yellow-jackets with gasoline, while smoking 20-702 Envenomation from attempting to cuddle with Pit Viper. 20-703 Small red mark, believed to be ‘spider bite’ 20-704 Bite or envenomation with offending creature in possession (no, no, no!) 20-705 Bite or envenomation, non-urgent, not otherwise specified 20-800 Patient wearing demeaning, but hilarious attire (e.g. ‘Bootylicious’ on shorts) 20-801 Patient in need of immediate arrest 20-802 Patient with wife in ambulance, girlfriend coming by private auto (surprise!) 20-803 Extraordinarily attractive patient (probably needs decon) 20-804 Patient with non-urgent but completely unintelligible complaint 20-805 Patient, annoying, not otherwise specified 20-900 Shortness of breath from walking to refrigerator 20-901 Shortness of breath from thrilling episode of reality show 20-902 Shortness of breath from argument with prom date 20-903 Shortness of breath from smoking 4 ppd in small room full of cat fur 20-904 Shortness of breath from wrestling with law enforcement 20-905 Shortness of breath, no objective signs, not otherwise specified |
