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Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Cat Bath = large bandages
So...my one cat, Peanut seems to have gotten some sticky crap in the fur on his back. It's in that spot that even cats find hard to reach. It's like he rolled in tree sap or something. I have no idea how he did it, since he doesn't go outside. It just looks mangy.

Then tonight, when I got back home from the Bat Mitzvah reception, he had licked it into a kind of mohawk that just looked really ridiculous. I made a mental note to give him a bath later in the week.

In the meantime, I tossed down one of those dayglow nightstick tube necklaces that they had given the kids at the party to play with, on the counter with my keys. You know, the neon plastic tubes that glow for a few hours?

I went into the living room to watch a little TV before bed, and the next thing you know, Peanut comes screaming through the living room looking like a bad black velvet painting. He had chewed through the tube, and had phosphorescent blue, orange, green and yellow liquid smeared all over his mouth and belly, and he's so freaked out by the glowing colors, he's hissing and trying to get away from himself.

I have to assume that stuff is non toxic, but now the issue of needing a bath now versus later is a moot point, and I have to get this stuff off of him.

So ensued my first attempt at getting an already frenzied 14 pound tabby cat into the tub.

20 minutes later, he's wet, REALLY pissed, and growling, but he's stopped glowing. The sticky stuff in his coat won't wash out - I may have to cut it out like gum or something.

Me? Once I got the bleeding to stop and used half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, my left forearm looks like I put it through a plate glass window, and I have some pretty deep gashes along the side of my neck winding down my throat. Yep, that's gonna leave a mark.

Good thing it's almost fall. I'll be wearing turtlenecks for the next few weeks.

At least my cat isn't glowing anymore. That was freaky.
posted by Broadsheet @ 10:55 PM  
11 Editorial Opinions:
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger tfg said…

    I recommend Nair.

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said…

    Too funny.

    This is why I get the cats bathed at the vets!

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger Double Dogged said…

    What's wrong with a psycodelic colored cat? Glad the cat is OK, looks like you got the worst of it.

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger johnny dollar said…

    i'm sorry to hear of the pain inflicted upon you etc., but i must admit i find something intrinsically funny about the idea of a glowing multicolored cat with a back mohawk...

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger jwer said…

    You need one of these.

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger Broadsheet said…

    tfg: He looks weird enough as it is. Clippers are cruel enough.
    snay: You have WAY too much $$$$
    DD: I pray I disinfected everything enough to avoid the trauma you had to your hand.
    jd: he did look pretty cool, in a punk cat way.
    jwer: How, pray tell, does one get the cat into the contraption in the first place without getting shredded??

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Anonymous lori said…

    Oh, I remember when I had to bathe one of my cats. Ouch.

    Oooohhh...painful. Hope kitty gets whatever muck he got out of his fur, though.

     
  • At September 11, 2006, Blogger Charissa said…

    Oh God, that's funny. So sorry to laugh at your pain, but I can't get a glowing cat out of my mind. Thanks for the story - sorry for the bleeding. :)

     
  • At September 12, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    'Peanut; Moggie of the Baskervilles' By Linda Conan Doyle. Saleswise it'll make 'The Da Vinci Code' look like 'Advanced String Theory'

    C

     
  • At September 12, 2006, Blogger jwer said…

    Yeah, they don't really explain that... it does seem like you're just rescheduling the phlebotomist...

     
  • At November 03, 2008, Blogger neal said…

    Cat bath- Cat shampoo

    -----------------------

    jnnywllms

    http://www.purrinlot.com

     
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