Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Redneck Swiffer
Apropos of nothing, my assistant and I were having a deep philosophical discussion this morning about one of the word's great mysteries. Namely, where the F---k do socks dissapear to? I mean, really, how can you end up with just one sock and have no idea where the mate went? Is there a special worm hole in the dryer that sucks them in? Socks that have been together forever, and suddenly one goes missing. Kidnapped as it were. There should be a milk carton program for them.
Realizing that we probably weren't meant to solve this great mystery, my assistant said "Do you know what I do with the matchless ones"? My mind reeled at the possibilities, (a) potholders? (b) tea cozies?, but I opted for "um no?"
"I put em on, spray them with cleaner, and clean the bathroom / kitchen floor with them"
Funnily enough I have just recently found out where odd socks go. My source is impeccable - the winner of the 2005 Whitbread Children's book of the Year Award -and it goes as follows.
Betwen this world and Tir-nan-Og (google it!)there is a barrier. The barrier, however, is by no means impermeable and stuff from here keeps slipping through, especially socks. The Others just leave them where they are so the landscape is decorated with single socks.
Now you are probably wondering why They leave the socks where they fall. I've given you one explanation already but I'll give you another for free. Tir-nan-Og is an an exact replica of this world and vice versa. However, there time stands still while here it rushes on. The upshot is that what might be a grove of trees there could very well be a house here. The presence of socks in a hedgerow warns Them that on the other side there is a house or, indeed, a laundry. That way They can take care around the place as slipping through the barrier is just as alarming for Them as it is for us.
Hmmm, I have a drawer full of single socks. Maybe I should wash them by themselves and they will end up with its mate. That way they can pair up from where ever the are. Or, give them to Broadsheet for doing the Redneck Swisher.
Funnily enough I have just recently found out where odd socks go. My source is impeccable - the winner of the 2005 Whitbread Children's book of the Year Award -and it goes as follows.
Betwen this world and Tir-nan-Og (google it!)there is a barrier. The barrier, however, is by no means impermeable and stuff from here keeps slipping through, especially socks. The Others just leave them where they are so the landscape is decorated with single socks.
Now you are probably wondering why They leave the socks where they fall. I've given you one explanation already but I'll give you another for free. Tir-nan-Og is an an exact replica of this world and vice versa. However, there time stands still while here it rushes on. The upshot is that what might be a grove of trees there could very well be a house here. The presence of socks in a hedgerow warns Them that on the other side there is a house or, indeed, a laundry. That way They can take care around the place as slipping through the barrier is just as alarming for Them as it is for us.
This is true BTW
Campbell