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Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Thursday, January 26, 2006
For Your Personal Attention
I received one of those West African scam spams the other day, but this one was different. They had somehow managed to incorporate my family surname into the scam as a deceased citizen of Togo and were looking for a handout so I could share the wealth with them. My brother suggested a great response. So here's the scam with "Broadsheet" substituting for my real name, leaving all the spelling and grammar mistakes intact, and the suggested response:

FOR YOUR PERSONAL ATTENTION (Broadsheet )

From The Desk of Barrister Mohammed Kazani
Senior& Advocate
Kazani Law Chambers
116 Rue De commerce
Lome-Togo (West Africa)

Dear Freind,

I am Barrister Mohammed Kazani,a solicitor at law,personal attorney to Eng. W.A. Broadsheet,who used to work with Shell Development Company and Principal owner Heistal Construction Company here in Republic of Togo. Hereinafter shall be referred to as my client.

On the 21st of April 2002, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in auto crash along Ecowas express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to his embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the Fund valued at US$14.5 million left behind by my client before it gets confisicated or declared unserviceable account by the Bank here in Lome-Togo where this huge amount was deposited with other treasures.

The said Bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confisicated within the next seventy two official working days. Since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be release and transfer to you.

Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.

All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Best regards.

Barrister Mohammed Kazani.
********************************
Dear Barrister Mohammed Kazani,

Thank you for your kind letter informing me of the death of my dear Uncle Broadsheet, his wife, Tabloid, and their daughter, Rumor. We were devestated by the news! How sad to hear of their passing as we had not been in contact with them for a few years.

We are very interested in helping you retain our family fortune, but we too are suffering hardships. I was laid off from my job, they foreclosed on my house, and I found out I have only months to live. It would be so good to travel before I am unable to, and I would love to visit my Uncle's home to retrieve some family belongings. Would you please send a $20,000 advance from my uncle's account so that I can travel to Togo to meet with you and discuss my inheritance?

Thank you again for your kindness in telling me of this devastating news.

Sincerely, L. Broadsheet
posted by Broadsheet @ 4:02 PM  
4 Editorial Opinions:
  • At January 26, 2006, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said…

    Beautiful! You gotta post his response :)

     
  • At January 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Heh heh, sweet! Waste as much of his time as you possibly can.

     
  • At January 27, 2006, Blogger acw said…

    Yeah, keep us informed if he writes back.

     
  • At May 29, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I got one myself with my birth last name inserted and I got as far as getting a certifiacte from the security company and them inviting me to go to Lome Togo personally to sign all of the appropriate forms. WHAT A JOKE THESE PEOPLE ARE!!!!

     
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