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Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Monday, September 12, 2005
Daytime TV


I am stuck at home recuperating for one more day, and I was going to live blog the debut of Martha's new show, which premiers here in Baltimore at 4:00 this afternoon on ABC.

Luckily for you, Nick Denton's folks over at Gawker, saw the show live this morning at 11:00 and have already live blogged it. Hil - ar - ee - ous. Some exerpts:

11:03 Opening with a monologue. “I am unfettered, I am free, no ankle bracelets.” Explains that all producers and staff have fake ankle bracelets, which comes off more uncomfortable than funny.

11:24 Martha is teaching Marcia (Cross) to scramble eggs. Watching the two of them furiously beat yolks is strangely erotic.

11:25 Martha, Marcia. Marcia, Martha. MarciaMarcia, MarthaMartha.

11:26 Martha demonstrates some strange egg cup technique, which strikes us as far too complicated for any meal served before 7pm. “You’re impressive!” laughs Marcia. “Yes, I’m very impressive,” concurs Martha.

11:38 Time for Italian card games. Martha sits at a card table, covered with a plastic cloth, and plays with some old men. It’s the most awkward thing we’ve ever seen.

11:39 “I grew up next door to a bunch of Italians,” she notes, which gives her about as much cred as a hipster who rents in Astoria.
And be sure to tune in Thursday when "Martha (W)raps": Sean "Diddy" Combs teaches Martha how to rap, and Martha returns the favor with a lesson on how wrap gifts perfectly. Also, Martha visits The Rickshaw Dumpling Bar in New York City to learn how to wrap delicious dumplings.

I'm not making this up. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion
posted by Broadsheet @ 2:06 PM  
3 Editorial Opinions:
  • At September 13, 2005, Blogger Cham said…

    Yeah, but like when does she start telling people, "You're fired."

     
  • At September 14, 2005, Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said…

    wait though - didn't she wear the shawl that one of her Camp Cupcake pals knitted for her, or was someone pulling my leg?

     
  • At September 14, 2005, Blogger Broadsheet said…

    Cham: Not sure when her other show airs, but I think it's safe to say we'll seeing even more of Martha than we do of Charlie Gibson.

    PLD: According to the guide, she wore the shawl on Tuesday's show. She was shawl free on Monday.

     
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