Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. - Cyril Connolly
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Can I just say how amazing it is to really, truly love your job and realize you've probably just made one of the best decisions in your life?

I feel like I've awakened from a coma. Truly. The difference is that stark. It's not that I was miserable in the old job - really - I wasn't. It was just that after 10 years, it was status quo; dead end; I wasn't learning from it anymore, and I was phoning it in every day. I needed to grow.

I felt like an unwatered plant that had outgrown its flowerpot.

I fully realize that I am in that very dangerous period of a relationship when it is all excitement, tingling, can't-wait-to-see-hear-talk-to them again. You know what I'm talking about : the truly stupid, crazy-in-love-passionate part of any blossoming relationship. You love everything they say or do. Everything they like, you suddenly have an obsession with. It's hard to avoid PDAs. Yeah - it's like that.

The good and bad of this is that:

(1) This feeling will end. Like passion, it cannot sustain itself indefinitely and the "bloom will fade".
(2) Enjoy it while it lasts. It is one of life's true gifts, and something that most of us spend a lifetime trying to find.
(3) Once the rose fades, the best that can happen is that you are left with the warm, loving, comfortable intimacy of friendship and companionship, and a shared sense of goals and values in life. You are also left with the memory of the passion, which makes intimacy more immediate.
(4) There will be hard, horrible, ugly, tearful fights, jealousies and indiscretion. There will be many sleepless nights and angry, but controlled, conversations.
(5) There will be compromise.
(6) There will be reconciliation.

These rules don't just apply to love. These rules applies to any relationship we are passionate about, and something that I spend 50+ hours a week doing, damn well better be enjoyable and rewarding in the long run.
I think people sometimes pity me because I don't have a partner (at the moment). What they fail to realize is, I have a completely functional family that most people can't even conceive of having for support and closeness. I also have a wealth of friends and neighbors that I would not trade for the world.

For. The. World.

I have a career that I'm passionate about, and now, after a difficult patch of 3 years, I have a job that I'm passionate about again.

I am rich beyond measure.

Oh, and did I mention happy??
posted by Broadsheet @ 9:26 PM  
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